Teaching on love
To love is to choose union and to refuse division.
Thomas Merton
Thomas Merton

The Choice of Union: Embracing Love in a Divided World

Thomas Merton's poignant assertion, "To love is to choose union and to refuse division," invites us to reflect on the profound nature of love as an active choice. In a world often marked by division—whether through personal conflicts, societal strife, or ideological rifts—Merton's words challenge us to consider love not merely as an emotion but as a deliberate act of unity. This perspective elevates love to a higher calling, one that demands our conscious engagement and commitment to fostering connection rather than separation.

Delving deeper, Merton's statement resonates with the essence of human experience. Love, in this context, becomes a transformative force that transcends individual desires and ego-driven impulses. It beckons us to recognize our shared humanity and to cultivate relationships that honor our interconnectedness. By choosing union, we embrace a path that leads to healing and understanding, while refusing division compels us to confront the barriers that keep us apart. This choice is not always easy, yet it is essential for personal growth and collective harmony.

The image / the metaphor

At the heart of Merton's quote lies a vivid imagery that contrasts the concepts of union and division. The verb "choose" implies an active decision-making process, suggesting that love is not a passive state but a conscious commitment. The notion of "union" evokes a sense of wholeness, a coming together of disparate elements into a cohesive whole, while "division" conjures images of fragmentation and separation. This dichotomy invites us to visualize love as a bridge that connects rather than a wall that divides.

Moreover, the metaphor of union speaks to the deeper spiritual truth that we are all interconnected. In choosing love, we engage in a sacred dance of relationship, where each step taken towards unity enriches our collective experience. This metaphor extends beyond personal relationships to encompass our interactions with the world at large, urging us to recognize the threads that bind us to one another. In this light, love becomes a powerful force for social change, inspiring us to dismantle the divisions that perpetuate suffering.

In the speaker's tradition

Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk and a profound spiritual thinker, draws upon a rich tradition that emphasizes the importance of love as a unifying principle. Within the Trappist framework, concepts such as kenosis—the self-emptying of one’s own will for the sake of others—align closely with Merton's vision of love. This selflessness is echoed in the Buddhist notion of sunyata, or emptiness, which invites practitioners to transcend the ego and embrace interconnectedness. Both traditions highlight that true love requires a relinquishing of the self in favor of a greater unity.

In Merton's own writings, particularly in "Love and Living," he articulates the idea that love is fundamentally about relationship and connection. He writes about the necessity of seeing the divine in others, a theme that resonates with the bhakti tradition in Hinduism, where love for the divine is expressed through devotion to all beings. This interspersion of love across spiritual traditions underscores the universality of Merton's message, inviting us to explore how love can serve as a bridge between diverse paths and practices.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where Merton's teaching might resonate: a workplace conflict where colleagues find themselves at odds over differing opinions. In such a situation, choosing union could manifest as an intentional effort to listen and understand each other's perspectives, rather than allowing division to fester. By fostering open dialogue and empathy, individuals can transform a potentially divisive atmosphere into one of collaboration and mutual respect, embodying Merton's call to love through unity.

Another application of this teaching can be found in personal relationships, particularly during moments of tension. Imagine a disagreement with a loved one, where the instinct may be to retreat into defensiveness. Here, the choice to love means actively seeking common ground, acknowledging the other’s feelings, and prioritizing the relationship over the need to be right. This practice of choosing union in the face of division not only strengthens bonds but also cultivates a deeper understanding of one another, reflecting Merton's vision of love as a transformative force.

A reflection

As we contemplate Merton's profound insight, we are invited to ask ourselves: In what areas of my life am I choosing division over union? This question serves as a mirror, reflecting our tendencies to isolate or separate ourselves from others. By engaging with this inquiry, we can begin to identify the barriers we have erected and explore how we might dismantle them through acts of love and connection. In doing so, we honor Merton's legacy and embrace the transformative power of love in our lives.

Thomas Merton
AuthorThomas Merton

Trappist monk, writer, and mystic. His autobiography The Seven Storey Mountain sparked renewed interest in contemplative Christianity.

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Going deeper

Merton's statement emphasizes that love is an active choice rather than a passive feeling. It suggests that to truly love is to consciously seek connection and understanding with others, rejecting the forces that lead to separation and conflict.
You can apply Merton's teaching by actively seeking to understand others, especially in moments of disagreement. This might involve listening deeply, engaging in open dialogue, and prioritizing relationships over being right.
Yes, the themes of love, unity, and selflessness are prevalent in Trappist writings. Authors like Thomas Keating and Henri Nouwen also explore the importance of love as a unifying force in their works.
Kenosis refers to the self-emptying of one's will for the sake of others, while bhakti emphasizes devotion and love towards the divine. Both concepts highlight the importance of transcending the self to foster unity, albeit from different spiritual perspectives.
Practices such as active listening, meditation on compassion, and engaging in community service can support the embodiment of Merton's teaching. These practices encourage us to cultivate love and connection in our daily interactions.

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