Teaching on path
Everything we encounter even what we want to push away can be the path.
Pema Chödrön
Pema Chödrön

The Path of Embracing All Encounters

Pema Chödrön's assertion that "everything we encounter — even what we want to push away — can be the path" invites us to reconsider our relationship with the myriad experiences life presents. This perspective challenges the instinctual human tendency to reject discomfort and adversity, suggesting instead that these very moments may serve as gateways to deeper understanding and growth. Recognizing that every encounter holds potential for insight is a profound shift that can transform our approach to both suffering and joy.

In a world often dominated by the desire for ease and comfort, Chödrön's words resonate with a radical invitation to embrace the full spectrum of our experiences. This teaching encourages us to cultivate a sense of openness and curiosity towards all that arises, even the unwelcome aspects of our lives. By doing so, we can begin to see that our struggles are not merely obstacles but integral components of our spiritual journey, leading us toward greater wisdom and compassion.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Chödrön's quote evokes a landscape of encounters, where each experience—pleasant or unpleasant—acts as a stepping stone on our spiritual path. The verbs "encounter" and "push away" illustrate the dynamic interplay between acceptance and aversion, highlighting our instinctual responses to life's challenges. This dance between engagement and rejection is a fundamental aspect of the human experience, and Chödrön encourages us to recognize that even our aversions can guide us toward deeper truths.

Diving deeper into the metaphor, we can envision our lives as a vast tapestry woven from countless threads of experience. Each thread, whether vibrant or muted, contributes to the overall design, reminding us that every encounter has its place in the larger narrative of our existence. By reframing our perspective, we can begin to appreciate the richness of our experiences, understanding that even the most difficult moments can illuminate the path ahead.

In the speaker's tradition

Pema Chödrön's teachings are deeply rooted in the Buddhist tradition, which emphasizes the concepts of impermanence, suffering, and the interconnectedness of all beings. Central to this tradition is the notion of dharma, the path of truth and ethical living, which invites us to engage fully with our experiences rather than shy away from them. The idea of kenosis, or self-emptying, resonates here, as it encourages us to let go of our attachments and aversions, opening ourselves to the transformative potential of every encounter.

In her work, Chödrön often references the Buddhist concept of sunyata, or emptiness, which teaches that our perceptions of reality are shaped by our attachments and aversions. By recognizing the emptiness inherent in our experiences, we can begin to see that our struggles are not fixed but fluid, allowing us to navigate life's challenges with greater ease. This perspective aligns with the teachings found in texts such as the Heart Sutra, which emphasizes the importance of embracing the fullness of experience as a means to liberation.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching might resonate: a workplace conflict that stirs feelings of frustration and resentment. In such moments, the instinct may be to withdraw or retaliate, pushing away the discomfort. However, if we embrace Chödrön's perspective, we might instead approach the situation with curiosity, asking ourselves what this conflict reveals about our values, boundaries, or even our own insecurities. By leaning into the discomfort, we can uncover insights that not only resolve the conflict but also foster personal growth.

Another application of this teaching can be found in our relationships, particularly during challenging conversations with loved ones. When faced with difficult emotions or misunderstandings, our first impulse may be to avoid the conversation altogether. Yet, if we view these moments as opportunities for connection and understanding, we can engage more openly. By acknowledging our discomfort and allowing it to guide us, we create space for deeper intimacy and healing, transforming potential rifts into pathways for growth.

A reflection

As we contemplate Chödrön's assertion that everything we encounter can be the path, we might ask ourselves: What uncomfortable experiences have I been avoiding, and how might they serve as teachers in my life? This question invites us to reflect on our relationship with discomfort and to consider how embracing our encounters—both pleasant and unpleasant—can lead us toward greater wisdom and compassion. In this way, we can begin to see our lives not as a series of challenges to be overcome, but as a rich tapestry of experiences that guide us on our spiritual journey.

Pema Chödrön
AuthorPema Chödrön

American Tibetan Buddhist nun and author. Resident teacher at Gampo Abbey, known for accessible teachings on working with difficult emotions.

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Going deeper

Chödrön suggests that every experience, including those we find uncomfortable or wish to avoid, holds the potential to teach us valuable lessons. By embracing all encounters, we can transform our struggles into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.
You can apply this teaching by consciously choosing to engage with difficult situations instead of avoiding them. For instance, when faced with conflict or discomfort, ask yourself what insights or lessons might emerge from the experience.
Yes, the concept of embracing all experiences is echoed in various Buddhist texts, such as the Heart Sutra, which emphasizes the importance of understanding emptiness and impermanence. These teachings encourage practitioners to see beyond attachments and aversions.
Aversion refers to our instinctual desire to push away uncomfortable experiences, while acceptance involves embracing those experiences as part of our journey. Acceptance allows for growth and understanding, whereas aversion can lead to stagnation.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. By cultivating awareness of our thoughts and feelings, we can learn to observe our aversions without judgment, allowing us to engage more fully with our experiences.
You can cultivate curiosity by journaling about your feelings or discussing them with a trusted friend. Ask open-ended questions about your discomfort, exploring what it reveals about your values, fears, or desires.

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